The Great Willy Waddle

 

Cancer in any form is no joke and though the majority of us do our best to stay informed and give to Cancer Research Charities Penile Cancer still seems to sit in the background.

So how can we bring this issue back into the public eye? …With a Penis Fun Run, of course.

On the 26th September Orchid will be hosting a 2k charity run in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in Stratford.

To participate you must register in advance HERE, minimum pledge amount is £100. All donations will go towards Orchid’s work in penile cancer research, education and support services.

 

On the day you’ll receive your inflatable penis costume upon entry (alternative costume colours available please email to enquire), you’ll then run, walk or waddle your way to the finish line all in the name of charity.

Never before has it been more acceptable to be a penis :0)

 

 

The Time:  Tuesday 26th Sept at 6.30pm

The Place:  Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, Stratford, London 

Price:  Registration Fee is £20, minimum pledge amount £100

Contact:  events@orchid-cancer.org.uk or orchid-cancer.org.uk

 

 

 

Arancini Brothers Risotto Balls

So two men named Dave walk into a kitchen, sounds like the beginning of a hilarious joke but it’s what happens everyday at Arancini Brothers. The two owners, big Dave and little Dave, while in Australia were trained by Sicilian chefs to create ‘delizioso’ risotto balls, or Arancini for short, you just learnt something…you’re welcome.

Rice cooked with onions, garlic, herbs and vegetable stock are then flavoured with a variety of cheeses, parsley and lemon (vegan options available on request), then fried to perfection.

Once prepared the risotto balls can be order in wraps, burgers, stew bowls or by themselves as a tasty snack 

With locations on Old Street, Kentish Town, Dalston and a food van that regular visits local food markets you have NO EXCUSE not to try them out.

 

The Time & Place:

115A Kentish Town Road, London NW1 8PB | Mon – Fri 8am -9.30pm, Sat – Sun 9.30am – 9.30pm

592 Kingsland Road, Dalston, London E8 4AH | Everyday including Bank Holidays 10am – 10pm

42 Old Street, London EC1V 9AE | Mon – Fri 9.30am – 10pm, Closed weekends.

 Price:  Start from £4

Contact:  arancinibrothers.com

 

 

 

 

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Disney Karaoke


 

“Have some of column A
Try all of column B
I’m in the mood to help you dude

… ….. ….. … . …… …. ..”

 

If you know what the missing lyrics are then head over to The Hackney Picture House on Friday 22nd September for an evening of Disney Karaoke magic.

If you can sing (or even if you can’t) then show Hackney Central what you’re made of, and if you buy the tickets in advance you save £2…that’s 2 quid that can go towards another beer!

 

Enjoy :0)

 

 

The Time:  Doors open at 8pm, the madness starts at 8.30pm

The Place:  Hackney Picturehouse, 270 Mare Street, London E8 1HE

Price:  Tickets £6 in advance, £8 on the door

Contact:  picturehouses.com

 

 

 

 

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BallieBallerson Adult Ball Pit

 

Ball pits are no longer for kids alone, now adults can relive their youth by throwing themselves into pools of plastic bubbles without being escorted from the premises. Welcome to BallieBallerson.

Located in Stoke Newington, over 2 floors, you have a choice of 2 ballrooms, Retro & Glowing. Retro being of the multicoloured ball variety, and glowing consisting of clear coloured balls sitting on a floor decorated with hundreds of LED lights. 

 

Both floors are equipped with a bar serving planet inspired cocktails, though I hear Uranus is undrinkable without popping a miracle pill first!

Ballie is most popular in the evening however day time slots are also available, at which bottomless Prosecco, Punch…and Spaghetti Meat Balls are on offer (spaghetti meat balls).

Oh they have a live DJ too, so if you’re having a bad week grab some friends, get over to Stokey and throw balls at each other while drinking Uranus 🙃

 

  • The Time:  Bottomless Bunch Saturdays 12 – 3pm, Sundays 1 – 4pm.  Evenings Wed – Thurs 6pm – 12am, Fri – Sat 6pm – 2am
  • The Place:  79 Stoke Newington Road, Dalston, N16 8AD
  • Price:  Ticket prices start from £10.90, click here for more details
  • Contact:  For more info click here
  • Additional Note:  Veggie meat also available 

 

 

 

 

Remember remember…

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…The 5th of November, like anybody in the UK could ever forget. Year after year we’re told of the story of Guy Fawkes’s attempt to restore a Catholic Monarch to throne by blowing up half of London, but was caught with a crap ton of gun powder just before lighting the fuse (there were 60 barrels of the stuff, so this was obviously a suicide mission as no one was escaping that), and later died by throwing himself off of the scaffold he was to be hanged drawn and quartered from.

It’s was all downhill after the 80 years war really.

So now we celebrate this foiled terror attack by letting off fireworks and burning Guy Fawkes effigies (what a magical time this is), and to be honest I f***ing love it.

So here are a few bonfires you can check out around the Capital:

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Southwark

  • Where: Southwark Park, Southwark, London, SE16 2PA
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Gates open from 5pm, last entry 6.30pm
  • Price: It’s free baby!…but you still need a free ticket to enter, get them here
  • More info: www.southwark.gov.uk

 

Crystal Palace

  • Where: Crystal Palace Park, Thicket Road, London SE20 8DT
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Gates open from 6pm, Kiddy friendly display starts at 7pm, Main display starts at 8.30pm
  • Price:  Kids tickets (3-10 yrs) £5.10- £5.60, Adult tickets £7.50-£8.50, Family tickets (2 adults & 2 children) £19.80-£23.80 get them here
  • More info: www.crystalpalacefireworks.co.uk
  • Further info: Sparklers, alcohol and dogs are stricly prohibited from this event, with the exception of assistant dogs

sparklers

 

Finchley

  • Where: Finchley Cricket Club, 33-45 East End Road, London, N3 2TA
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Gates open from 6.30pm
  • Price: Individual  Ticket £5, Family of 3 tickets £10, Family of 4 tickets £15
  • More info: facebook.com

 

Bayswater

  • Where: Cleverland Square, 30 Chilworth Street, Bayswater, London, W2 6DB
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Gates open from 6pm, display starts at 7.15pm
  • Price: Kids tickets £5, Adult tickets £10
  • More info: www.clevelandsquare.org
  • Further info: Display set to music, BBQ and bar available at the event

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Kensington

  • Where: The Roof Gardens, 99 Kensington High Street, London W8 5SA
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Doors open from 7pm, display start at 11.45pm
  • Price: Tickets from £15, book in advance
  • More info: www.virginlimitededition.com
  • Further info: Display set to music by inhouse DJ, BBQ available, complimentary cocktail with ticket

 

Forest Gate

  • Where: Wanstead Flats, Forest Gate, Centre Road, London, E7 0DJ
  • When: Saturday 5th November
  • Time: Gates open from 5.30pm, display starts at 7.30pm
  • Price: It’s free baby!
  • More info: www.newham.gov.uk
  • Further info: This event will be hosted by Heart Radio DJ Roberto, display set to music. Sparklers, alcohol and dogs are stricly prohibited from this event, with the exception of assistant dogs

 

 

 

Finish him

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Who likes games (raises hand), who likes movies (raises other hand – now typing with my nose), put them both together and what do you have?

Some questionable character choices, unrecognisable storylines and bad green screen effects, in other words 2 hours of f***ing awesomeness and an urge to play Street Fighter into the wee hours, that’s where Joypad steps in.

Joypad bar aims to bring the joyous memories of retro gaming to the Call of Duty generation. On the last Tuesday of the month they host a pop up event called Cinedouken where they screen movies based on a retro games at Trapeze on Great Eastern Street in Shoreditch, a tournament throughout the evening playing the game the movie is based on will also take place, seeing the last man standing at the end of the night win a £50 bar tab.

On Tuesday 26th July they’ll be showing Doom with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Karl Urban.

So if 90’s beat ’em ups give you warm & fuzzy feelings then get your backside over to Trapeze, fun is guaranteed to ensue…and maybe some free booze.

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  • The Place:  Trapeze Bar 89 Great Eastern Street, Shoreditch, London, EC2A 3HX
  • The Time:  Tuesday 26th July from 7pm
  • Contact:  For more information click here

 

 

 

Everyone deserves a Second Shot

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Coffee, black gold or the bean that stops me from committing GBH every morning is now doing more than merely waking up the masses, it’s combating homelessness in the capital too.

The Second Shot Cafe in Bethnal Green has combined London’s coffee culture with the fight to eradicated homelessness by hiring former rough sleepers, providing training & one-to-one support, food drives, community support activities, a pay-it-forward scheme where customers can prepay for items that can be claimed later by a person in need (loving that idea!), as well as a number of other initiatives that aim to help people reintegrate back into full time employment and ultimately a stable live style.

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By using local vendors and working with Cafe by CrisisThe Connection at St Martins in the Fields Second Shot is doing it’s part for the cause one Espresso at a  time.

 

…I’m coming for a coffee and cake soon guys!

 

  • The Place:  Second Shot Cafe 475 Bethnal Green Rd, E2 9QH
  • The Time:  7am-6pm Mon to Fri & 9am-7pm Sat & Sun
  • Contact:  For more information regarding Second Shot and their mission contact them at their Twitter page @Secondshotcafe or go to their website Second Shot

 

 

 

 

*Info used from the good people at Second Shot

*Images used from Twitter.com/secondshotcafe & instagram.com/secondshotcoffee

 

Barking Good Movies

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Oscar & Rupert based in East London are a Doggie-centric events company, because let’s be honest who doesn’t like dogs…oh you don’t, you’re a monster!

People also like going to the cinema when they have a bit of free time, well these geniuses have combined the two. Doggie Friendly Cinema does exactly what it say on the tin, watching movies with your 4 legged best friend in a welcoming environment with others who who don’t mind the odd woof every now and then.

On the 15th May Oscar & Rupert will be showing Paris Texas at Wringer + Mangle in London Fields East London, so if you and your canine companion are in the mood to get your movie on then click here.

Tickets also entitle you to 20% off food and drink in Wringer + Mangle, click here to book your table.

 

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  • The Time:  Sunday 15th May, doors open at 2pm movie starts at 3pm
  • The Place:  The basement at Wringer & Mangle, Sidworth Street, Hackney, E8 3SD
  • Tickets:  £18.50 per human, dogs go free
  • Contact:  For more info click here, for tickets click here, for info regarding Wringer & Mangle click here

 

 

Happy Watching

 

 

Sweat is just fat spitting as it swears at you

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The Yuletide festivities have come & gone and you’re fulfilling your New Years resolution of going to the gym, but you’re lagging, you feel your resolve starting to waiver, the enthusiasm you felt on the 4th Jan seems to have buggered off by the 14th, what to do???

You could stick with it, push through the ‘wall’ and battle on. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact ‘Big Up’ to you for persevering.

If you’re REALLY struggling you could consider joining an independent gym / Personal Trainer who might offer a personalised approach to training and keep you interested in the sweaty world of fitness.  If this sounds more like it then take a goosey gander at the suggestions below.

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Road to Fitness UK

A jack of all trades and master of most Road to Fitness UK offers Personal Training, Martial Arts Tuition, First Aid Courses, Sports Massage and I think they also do stand up comedy…but only if you ask really nicely.  Based in Loughton (but they travel throughout London), the company has been going for 6+ years so can aid in your fitness goals however big or small.

www.roadtofitnessuk.co.uk

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Gemma Ridley Personal Training

Based in Islington North London Gemma Ridley offers Home / Gym PT sessions, outdoor workouts, High Intensity cardio classes and Boxing sessions for all levels of fitness. I would recommend doing her cardio classes but only if you don’t mind being a wee bit wobbly legged afterward.

gemmaridley.co.uk

krav maga

If Self Defence is more your thing then head over to Apolaki Krav Maga London in Bethnal Green, London’s only full time Krav Maga Academy.

Krav Maga: “a form of self-defence and physical training, first developed by the Israeli army in the 1940s, based on the use of reflexive responses to threatening situations.”*

Specialising in Krav Maga Self Defence, Dirty Boxing and 1 on 1 Self Defence sessions, the school also offers Apolaki SPD – Self Protection for Dwarfs. A bespoke self defence system designed by Eugene Grant and Apolaki Krav Maga Chief Instructor Kelina Cowell, the system is  designed specifically for the body types and threats experienced by people with restricted growth  syndrome.

Trial classes available here

http://www.apolakikravmagalondon.com/

These are just a few suggestions, part 2 coming soon.

 

 

 

Boom goes the dynamite – Lighting up London

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It’s that time of year again, when we celebrate the thwarted terrorist attack on Parliament by lighting tons of gunpowder all over the Country…Guy Fawkes would be so proud.

So in commemoration of the plot of 1605 we’ve listed a few bonfire events for your viewing pleasure…and yes I know this is late…screw you guys I did my best here!

 

  • North London

*Alexandra Palace – Alexandra Palace/Wood Green: On the 7th Nov enjoy the view, Bonfire and festival at Allie Pallie, from 3pm tuck into some street food and craftbeer, enjoy

– Alexandra Palace Way, London, N22 7AY

*The Walker Cricket Ground – Enfield: Enjoy a funfair, food stalls and a bar (ears open adults) on 7th Nov from 5pm in Enfield, the fun stuff starts from 5pm and the display begins at 7.30. Adult tickets start from £6, childs tickets from £3

-The Walker Ground, 175 Waterfall Road, Southgate, London, N14 7JZ

*Scout Park – Bounds Green: If you’re a vegetarian or meat-lover head over to Bounds Green for a BBQ and fireworks display on the 7th Nov from 6pm, all the money raised goes towards equipment for the scouts, lets be honest anything that helps keep our little people occupied is a good thing, so don’t be afraid to flash the cash!

Adult tickets start from £5, kids tickets from £4

-Scout Park, Gordon Road, Bounds Green, London, N11 2PB

 

  • South London

*Chislehurst Recreation Ground – Chislehurst: A funfair, hog roast and the dance performance by the Glenlyn Academy Dance Group are on offer on the 7th Nov from 6pm, display begins at 7.30pm.

– Empress Drive, Chislehurst, London, BR7 5BG / Prices start from £6 for adults & from free for kids.

*Carshalton Park – Surrey: Stop by Ruskin Road for some live music, a bonfire and display from 5.15 on the 7th Nov, tickets will be £5 per person if purchased by Friday 6th, tickets bought on the day will cost £7.50 per person, under 5’s go free. All profits raised at the event will be donated to local charities & further local community support.

– Carshalton Park, Ruskin Road, Surrey, SM5 3DD

*Kingsmeadow Stadium – Kingston upon Thames: Fairground rides, and DJ set and live music to be enjoyed by all on the 6th Nov starting from 6.30, display beginning at 8pm. Tickets from £5 per person, under 5’s go free.

– Jack Goodchild Way, 422a Kingston Road, Kingston-upon-Thames, London, KT1 3PB

*Blackheath Common – Blackheath: funfair fun starts from noon on the 7th Nov, along with food stalls and bars, the display begins at 8pm and its FREE ENTRY baby!…though donations towards the event are welcome.

– Blackheath Common, Blackheath, London, SE3 0RW

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Fireworks display at Alexandra Palace
  • West London

*Battersea Park – Wandsworth: Experience a right ‘Royal Night Out’ at this themed bonfire event, on the 7th Nov boogie down to live music, food & drink plus award-winning Jubilee fireworks from 6pm, display begins at 8pm.

Purchase tickets in advance from here, £8 per person until Friday 6th, £10 thereafter, no tickets available on the door.

– Battersea Park, Wandsworth, London, SW11 4NJ

*Ealing Cricket Club – Ealing: Family fun at Ealings Family Entertainment and Bonfire weekender, on the 7th Nov from 6pm enjoy a fantasy themed laser and fireworks show, accompanied by barbecue and mulled wine (for the adults only, sorry kids).

– Corton Road, Ealing, London, W5 2HS

*Ravenscourt Park – Hammersmith: Funfair plus 2 fireworks dos in Hammersmith on the 7th Nov, kiddie display starts at 7.15 while the main event, which’ll be set to music begins at 8.10

– Ravenscourt Park, Hammersmith, London, W6 0TH

 

  • East London

*Victoria Park – Bow: Victoria Park are getting their fireworks groove back on after 5yrs away, get down over there for 7pm on the 7th Nov to enjoy the renewed fun…and it’s FREE ENTRY baby!

– Victoria Park, Bow, London, E9 7DD

*Clissold Park – Stoke Newington: Superhero is the theme of this year’s event in Clissold Park, from 6pm on the 7th Nov enjoy a “musical extravaganza” and funfair while dressed as your favourite super hero or supervillain (it’s not mandatory to dress up), the display begins at 7. 30, adult tickets start from £7.50, kids tickets from £2.50, tickets must be bought in advance.

– Clissold Park, Stoke Newington, London, N16 9HJ

 

Enjoy, be safe, and please please please leave your pets at home, imagine someone letting off firecrackers next to your ear for 20mins…exactly!